behind every successful text post is a frustrated blogger pleading for people to stop reblogging it
NO THIS IS NOT ONE OF THOSE POSTS DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE REBLOG IT
IN THE 24th CENTURY THEY HAVE ALMOST THREE TIMES AS MANY SHADES OF GRAY
And here we can see the Blogger in her natural habitat.
The blogger is a shy, docile creature…
… that prefers the darkness…
… and tends to be wary of the outside world.
The Blogger rarely sleeps, and when it does, it does so in seemingly random places.
We have attempted to understand the dietary habits of the Blogger…
… but to no avail.
thor meets pikachu
requested by nettumbles
i got the mail and handed it to my mom and she grabbed an envelope and said “uhh there’s no animals at this address”
and i said “mom we have a cat and a dog”
so she handed me the envelope
there’s no anna mulz at this address
I had a dream last night where I was talking to my future daughter and she was crying because she was having a really hard time at school, teen angsting etc
me: you know, when I was in high school I didn’t have many friends
daughter: …that’s not…very comforting. What did you do for fun if you didn’t have a lot of friends?
me: well I’d come home and watch movies and tv and then I’d blog about my feelings on tumblr
daughter: …tumblr?? you mean that old website that got banned by The Leader?
And then I looked around in slow motion and realized that we were living in this Utopian future where tumblr is banned and no one has free access to the internet
daughter: all hail our Dark Lord, Protector of the Nation.
Then I look up, horrified, to the spot where my daughter turned to, and it’s a framed picture of Cillian Murphy wearing a dark suit and looking down at everyone condescendingly, sort of like this:
so then I ran around the house, flailing like a horrified seal, and every frame had the same picture…
then suddenly I was at the Louvre and this happened…
I woke up gasping for air and with dry tears on my cheeks
I’m honestly surprised there isn’t a Hunger Games porn parody called The Hung Games where Kattits Everdeen, Peenis Mellark, and twenty-two other “teens” try to kill each other with sex at the Pornucopia.