WHAT IF SHINJI AND KAWORU WERE MAKING OUT AND KAWORU TAKES OFF SHINJIS SHIRT AND SEES HIS NIPPLES AND IS LIKE “WHAT ARE THOSE” AND SHINJIS LIKE ”WHAT” AND HE TAKES KAWORUS SHIRT OFF AND IS LIKE “WTF WHERE ARE YOUR NIPPLES” AND KAWORU IS LIKE “WHAT”
I was going through this new book of short stories I bought and reached this one
I wondered what it could possibly be about
I DIDN’T EXPECT IT TO BE LITERAL
He was also reasonable, he didn’t fuck married mothers
Steppin’ on the Beach doo doo doo
IM SO FUCKING DONE WITH ALL OF YOU
why is this so long it froze on my dash i hate you all
Maybe it’s like when farmers shear the sheep in the summer so that they don’t overheat.
Maybe that’s where Andrew’s hair went.
what i wanted
what i found
PUT THAT SHIT UNDER A READMORE JESUS TITSUCKING CHRIST
Youth Culture Killed My Youth
When I was 6 years old and miserable at school, I told my mother that I wished I were an old man. She said that when I got older I’d long for my youth so I should try to enjoy it while it lasts. Her advice sounded logical at the time, but the older I got, the older I wished I was. I’m 28 years old now and I still long for my 80s. I assume that once I slip a disk or need dentures I’ll feel differently but as long as I can walk on my own two feet and chew with my own 28 teeth, I’d prefer to be older.—Jesse Eisenberg on his lifelong aversion to youth culture for Bullett Magazine (x)
i just emailed my ict teacher with what i thought was my homework but instead i sent
ok i cant stop laughing omfg
Scenes That Make Me Go WHAT THE EVERLOVING MOTHERFUCK: Charles tells Erik that he’s responsible for the bullet
-So Erik decides to go all Cray Cray Machiavellian, and everyone is in agreement that he has to be stopped.
-So Charles tackles him. Not the smartest move, but whatever.
-And then Moira, apparently on Charles’ patented Stupidity Juice, decides to shoot at Erik.
-Let me repeat that again.
-MOIRA SHOOTS A FUCKING GUN AT THE MAN WHO CAN CONTROL METAL.
-Erik deflects the bullets and one ends up lodged in Charles’ spine. Way harsh, Tai.
-Erik gets pissed and decides to channel his inner Wayne Brady and choke a bitch.
-Charles, apparently running for the DIAHERRA OF THE MOUTH AWARD, then tells Erik that it wasn’t Moira’s fault. That Erik did this.
NOW HOLD THE FUCK UP HERE!
-FIRST OF ALL, MOIRA IS THE ONE WHO DECIDED TO SHOOT A GUN AT THE MAN WHO JUST LEVITATED HIMSELF AND A FUCKING CORPSE THROUGH THE AIR. DID SHE HONESTLY THINK THAT OH, THIS WON’T END BADLY AT ALL.
-SECOND OF ALL, IF YOU ARE TRYING TO CONVINCE THIS MAN TO GIVE UP ON HIS EVIL OVERLORD OF THE UNIVERSE DREAMS, TELLING HIM THAT HE IS RESPONSIBLE (ESPECIALLY SINCE HE’S NOT THE ONE WHO EVEN PULLED THE TRIGGER IN THE FIRST PLACE) FOR SHOOTING HIS ONLY FRIEND WHEN HE ALREADY HARBORS GUILT FOR THE DEATH OF HIS MOTHER IS NOT THE WAY TO DO IT!
-THIRD OF ALL, CHARLES PLACES THE BLAME ON ERIK ALMOST IMMEDIATELY AFTER TELLING HIM THAT THE MEN TRYING TO KILL HIM AND HIS ONLY PEOPLE ARE JUST FOLLOWING ORDERS. I AM SORRY, I WILL NEVER GET OVER THIS. I WILL BE EIGHTY YEARS OLD AND ON MY DEATHBED MUMBLING, “YOU TOLD A FUCKING HOLOCAUST SURVIVOR THAT THE MEN TRYING TO KILL HIM ARE JUST FOLLOWING ORDERS I CANNOT EVEN.”
-And so within a five minute span, Charles manages to not only alienate Erik completely, but also destroy what little humanity Erik has left. FOUR FOR YOU, CHARLES COCO! FOUR FOR YOU!