dear internet, let me tell you some things about my public-school-in-georgia sex education.
pictured above is my abstinence til marriage card, given to me in my eighth grade health class. as you can see, i did not sign it, so it is non-binding. they were “optional” but the teacher placed the basket at the front of the class and stared us down. my 13-year-old self had a very brief dilemma between 1. making a stand and not getting one or 2. getting one because it’s fucking hilarious. i am very glad i chose the latter, because as i predicted, this is now something hilarious to show everyone.
that year in health we also learned “how to spot the identifying features of a crack baby” which is literally nothing but lies. we had a system of anonymous questions, and once someone asked “how do i know if i’m a lesbian?” our teacher looked disgusted and she replied “how would i know? i’m not a lesbian!”
EDIT i forgot to mention when she gave these to us she suggested we “cut up our cards together with our husbands on our wedding day” and i remember thinking, fuck if i marry someone from my middle school
the next time i had sex ed in high school it was taught by a dude gym coach who spent the whole time talking about his daughters. the book we were learning from listed “low self-esteem” “stunted social growth” and “depression,” among others, as consequences of premarital sex. at one point, it asked us to fill in the disadvantages of having an abortion. our teacher went, “well, i’m personally against abortion, so we’re just going to skip this section,” which confused me, because it was explicitly asking for an argument against abortion.
the last time i had sex ed it was pretty good and there were free condoms and we got little bottles of lube every time we answered questions, but i don’t think that counts cause it was in an intro to women’s studies class.
GOING FOR THE GOLD
least tern struggling with meal
(photos by jim gilbert)
what new login screenwait there’s a new login screen
#HADES IS SASSY GAY FRIEND #GIRL DON’T WASTE YOUR LIFE ON A GUY #BUY HIS ACTION FIGURE INSTEAD IT CAPTURES HIS BEST SIDE SO WELL #HE ALMOST GETS CRUSHED BY A PILLAR SO WE SACRIFICE OURSELVES?! #YOU DO CRAZY THINGS WHEN YOU’RE IN LOVE? YEAH CRAZY. NOT SUICIDAL. #PUT WONDERBOY DOWN AND COME TO THE SANDAL SALE WITH ME #THEY JUST GOT SOME GREAT NEW PINK ONES IN YOUR SIZE #THEY’LL REALLY WEIGH OUT YOUR HIPS
Procrastinator. Narcissist. Hungry.
Some things aren’t worth blogging about.
Sherlock: And then I was like ‘Guuuurl, what are you wearing?’
Moriarty: Ohhhh Shit
#SHEEERP DERP DERP
TWD: DARYL’S SEARCH FOR SOPHIA