why does my boyfriend have to be so emotionally constipated
why do i have to be such a mess
why do we care about each other at all
*rubs face with palms*
maybe because i love him, and he cares about me a lot “if not more than that” and is willing to forgive me for cheating on him with his best friend and my relapse with alcohol and calling him names
and i’m trying my hardest just to get him to open up to me. maybe that’s why i lash out, because i feel like our relationship is emotionally stagnate and going nowhere
but he finally did open up to me a little today, and i feel like i know him a little bit more. i have solved a row of the rubix cube. he has little ways of showing how he cares, and i can’t compare what he does to other relationships. most boyfriends would change their phone background to their girlfriend’s picture. nyan would not normally, but he has, and he has for a long time now.
at least now i know we’re both willing to forgive each other for doing terrible things. we don’t want to give each other up. and that’s nice to know.
so this is officially the worst week of my life
i drank, had sex with my boyfriend’s best friend, and attempted suicide
i am a horrible person. of course, i already knew that, but now i’ve proven it.
i had my bf watch anchorman and had him take a drink for every misogynistic comment/action
he was drunk before half of the movie was even over
So my boyfriend’s best friend is a grade-a douchebag. We were all having dinner at Olive Garden and he plain out said that he doesn’t like hanging out with women if they’re not attractive. He won’t even hang out with a girl that traveled 1000 miles just to visit him for 5 days when he was in training.
I’ve talked to two of his other friends, and yeah, we all agree that he’s looking for a brainless trophy wife that he can show off.
He’s in the air force.
He gets irritated when women in the air force are stronger/better than him.
He refuses to watch The Hunger Games because he “knows” he could kick Katniss’s ass.
I don’t have to deal with him very often anymore because he only comes back every 3-6 months, but jfc. This dude’s head is so far up his ass that he can probably see last night’s dinner.
Okay, rant over. But in all honestly, I wish I could pull Katniss out of fiction and recruit her to kick his ass. If I didn’t have noodles for arms, I’d do it myself.
(And if any woman ever denies the existence of misogyny, I will point them to this douchecanoe, who won’t even register their existence unless they have zero flaws and think of him as a god.)
so last year when i began college i tried to be a social butterfly
and ended up hating school altogether
so now i just go to class with my default resting face which looks like if you so much as look at me i will murder you and i actually love going to class now
moral of the story: do what makes you comfortable in your learning environment (without being a complete dick, of course), not what you think is expected of you
I want to hang out with my friends, but lately I can’t even find the enthusiasm to get out of bed… asdjghaskjdk This is so frustrating.
okay so i’ve had strep for a week now and people know it hurts a shit ton to talk aND THEY WON’T STOP TALKING TO ME AND ASKING ME QUESTIONS
I WANT TO YELL AT THEM TO FUCK OFF
I walked to my mom’s camp site about a mile down the road barefoot (initially a bad idea). I used to run over the ridges in my back yard barefoot all the time about two years ago, so I forgot my feet weren’t as tough as they used to be.
When I got back home, I realized that most of the dead skin on my heels had been taken off from the gravel and hard ground. So the blisters are totally worth it haha
like okay so
i never really knew what it was like to have a best friend physically (i’ve had so many loving friends over the internet that i know what it’s like emotionally though)
so having someone that will drive 2 hours just because they want to cuddle with you quite frequently kind of just makes me so happy that i get a headache
Going to Nyan’s dorm again next Thursday
Even more excited because I get to go visit my dad in the hospital. It’s pretty far away, so I don’t get to see him often. And then my mom, a friend, and I are going to swing by his town to go bowling. And if his new roomie is amiable, I’ll get to spend a couple nights with him.
Alright, time for a story that aggravates me:
Once upon a time Nyan had another sex friend that is no longer a sex friend because she’s slightly crazy.
Had conversations with her, helped her along with her feelings for Nyan. She said she wouldn’t mind meeting me in person, and even though I thought it would be nice, I was very wary.
Time skip. Just got out of the hospital after a terrible night of detox and no sleep. Still on doped up, very tired, but excited because I’m going to hang out with Nyan. Have about an hour until Nyan gets there, so I decide I want a salad.
Her place of work is the only place I can think of to get one (very tiny town). Mind you, in the back of my mind I know this is probably a bad decision. But I bank on her not being there, and getting out as soon as I have my salad. So, I order a salad, and then leave. I don’t see her.
Apparently she saw me going to the bathroom. She flips out. Calls Nyan crying hysterically on the phone. It’s not until months later that I find out that she lied to him and said that I talked to her coworkers about her situation. And she had to “pick up the broken pieces of her staff.”
I’m sorry but I just. I have never disliked a person so much. She is manipulative, overreacts, two-faced, hypocritical, and crazy. I do not say this lightly. She has a nice side, the nice side is just overshadowed by all of her “pity me I’m a bitch and act like a teenager still” attitude. And just yeah.
And I am not above being smug about the fact that I am more eloquent than her despite being three years younger. She acts like she’s 16.
Okay, so that’s two guys now in the past week that have asked me to hook up. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???
So instead of just visiting Nyan at his dorm for a few hours, I ended up staying until Friday. u///u
The funny thing is that Nyan has been trying to meet new people so he can go to parties, but he’s horrible at it haha And yesterday I ran into one of my highschool class mates! And he parties a lot, so he told us to hit him up if we want to haha Kind of ironic, actually. Oh well, I feel accomplished.
i am not a naturally hateful person. i’ve had my best friends date my crush of two years and just felt sad. i’ve had money stolen from me and tried to help the person that stole it.
but this bitch
whenever i think of her i just
i do not think well of people that are hypocrites, two-faced, and selfish. and especially to the ones they supposedly “love”. that’s not love, that’s being childish. you are older than me, this is not how you act.