These cisgender and rape culture posts on my dashboard sometimes confuse me. I definitely do understand them, except some views on them are…skewed? Or maybe I just have a different take on things because of how I grew up. I’m not sure.
First, some back story: My mother is the typical white American girl. Well, except she taught me everything I know about acceptance and loving everything equally. My father was born and raised in Mexico, and taught me everything I know about drinking and just how ignorant and stubborn people can be. They both let me know that they would always love me unconditionally (except if I were ever raped, my dad would probably always hold me partly responsible).
My mother was raped when she was younger, and her mother blamed her for it because she went to a neighbor’s house and got drunk. My dad was raised into a family who drank almost constantly. He became an alcoholic when he was 5, and was raised in a town where if you were a woman and wore a short skirt (or anything revealing), you would most definitely get raped. These things influenced their views greatly.
Rape culture: is a thing that exists. It needs to stop. Any person should be able to wear whatever they want. BUT: My dad’s view isn’t completely wrong. He’s wrong to blame me, of course, and he’s wrong to think that we can’t hope for a future where people will be more civilized. But in a city like Mexico City, there’s no way that a rapist is going to have any judgement passed on him. It’s still like this in America in some areas.
I say this because some people have been saying that we should stop teaching girls to not be raped, and boys to simply not rape. We need to teach both, because with all our laws and punishments, there is always going to be a rapist. It’s the same with muggers. We teach people not to steal, but we still need to teach people to be careful.
My mom shouldn’t have placed herself in a dangerous situation, those boys should not have raped her, and her mother shouldn’t have blamed her for being raped.
Gender/Identity: This is difficult for me, because I think a lot of the idea of male VS female is…Let’s rephrase that. People identify as male or female, but for me that means they’re either more “feminine” or “masculine” but to say that means you place those things on the sexes that supposedly “match” those things, and that’s not accurate. There is no difference between male and female besides reproductive organs and conditioning. If we removed conditioning, we’d have reproductive organs and some aspects of the mind that are exclusive to males and females, and even that is so completely wonky that it’s hard to even say that.
To be perfectly honest, I think the fact that we have male and female pronouns is ridiculous. Who needs to know what’s between our legs if we don’t feel like telling? Categorizing them into two secular things and expecting different things from each category is ridiculous. Only females can get manicures, only males can have short hair. Why? There is no need for the separation unless you’re looking for a mate/partner, and sometimes even then it’s irrelevant.
I dislike having to do my hair, but I like when it looks nice. I like accentuating my eyes and covering up my acne scars with makeup. I have a flat chest and big hips. I like wearing “guy” clothes and “girl” clothes. I would like to have an actual mustache, but I’m unable to grow one. For some reason, all of this adds up to me being a girl. I look like a “she” I suppose, but I’m not insulted when someone calls me “he”.
I guess all this just means that pronouns confuse me.
If someone could explain this to me, that would be the most excellent thing ever. I have epiphanies sometimes, where I’m sure I finally understand it, but then I ask myself another question and I think something else. Please don’t take anything I’ve said to be the end-all of my views and opinions. They change a lot.
(If I said something to offend, then please yell at me. It’s nice to have someone there to correct me.)